How do I get my kids to clean their bedroom without having to nag them?

– Blossy, Internet

When I was a young child my divorced mother used to come home in the middle of the night screaming about how the house was a mess. She would wake me and my two brothers up and force us to clean the house at that late hour. Visions of the movie Mommy Dearest would dance through my head…

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Before used under Creative Commons License from flickr user gemsling

Why do my parents always tell me to do as they say and not as they do?

– Chris F, Bismarck ND

Even I remember this one from my childhood. It usually came about when I tried to emulate something that my father did that was either dangerous or uncouth.

I know it may seem like a double standard to you but it’s not. Your parents key goal in raising you is to make you into a productive citizen. There are certain social hang-ups and failings that are ingrained into your parents that they hope not to ingrain into you.

Racism was a big problem back in the 1960’s and it has taken several generations for us to turn into a more colorblind society. There are forces on both sides of the racism debate that do not like the idea of people being colorblind but the good Dr. King wanted a colorblind society.

In order to move towards such a society parents had to try and teach their kids not to have the prejudices they themselves grew up with. This is why you may hear your parents say something bad followed by them telling you not to act in the same manner. Old habits die hard.

The other reason parents use the “do as I say not as I do” line is because they may be doing something that takes skill and they just know that if you were to try it you might hurt yourself.

As an extreme example let’s say that your father is a former boxer and he likes to work out in the home gym using a punching bag and other things. He may (or may not) want you to follow in his footsteps. Even if he does want you to become like him he may realize that the skill level he is at is so far advanced compared to where you are at that he does not want you to attempt the things he does because he knows you are not yet ready.

Most of these things will become more clear to you after you have kids of your own.

Your parents are not the enemy and they are not trying to keep you down. They just want to be sure that when you fly off and leave the nest you have the skills to make it. Even though we love our kids we don’t want to see you boomerang back into the nest after you leave!

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The joys of parenting used under Creative Commons License from flickr user jenn jenn

How do I motivate my kids to go outside and play?

– Barry L, Atlanta GA

There are different methods you can use to motivate kids to do the things you want them to do even when they themselves do not want to do those things. Being from Georgia you must be familiar with the character Tom Sawyer from the writings of Mark Twain. Do you remember a certain fence Tom had to whitewash? A job that he completed by tricking his friends into doing it for him?

One tried and true method of getting kids to do what you want is reverse psychology. You use this method by making your kid think that you do not want them to do the thing you want them to do. Nothing makes a kid want to get involved like telling them you don’t want them involved!

You do need to be careful how often you use this approach. Over use can lead to your kid figuring out what you are doing at an early age. Sometimes they just call you on it and everything is fine but other times they will not call you on it and instead begin to build a high level of distrust toward you.

The best method to get kids to do what you want them to do is to do things with them. Drag them outside with you and play a game. Chase them around the yard. Wash the car and let them get you with the hose.

The reason your kids may not be motivated to go outside is because you are not going outside. Kids learn from their parents and that includes both good and bad habits. If you are spending plenty of time outside and the kids still prefer to spend their time indoors than you might want to make indoors a little less enjoyable.

Take away TV time when it is nice outside. Make them do housework if they are just hanging around in the house. Just as you can make outside time more enjoyable by being actively involved you can also make indoor time less enjoyable by being actively involved!

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Kids playing used under Creative Commons License from flickr user MShades

What is the quickest and easiest way to monetize a blog?

– Teri K, Meriden CT

A lot of people look into blogging and then reach a point where they start thiking of it as a potential full time job with a full time income. Let me set a few things down right now.

Making money on the Internet takes work and dedication. It can take even more work than your current job does. You may work your ass off and never make any money on line! With that said, the following tips may send you in the right direction.

1. Write good content that people (other than your family who is too nice to tell you your writing stinks) will want to read.

2. Pick a niche and stick with it. Some people can pull off a site that cover more than one niche but most fail. Look at the successful tech blogs out there, do they cover multiple niches or do they have extra sites for other topics?

3. Ignore your traffic numbers. Nothing will make you depressed faster than seeing that the only person visiting your site is you. Web sites take time to be index by search engines and for people to find and like you. It can take a year (or longer) for a blog to get traction and gain a following.

4. Comment, comment, comment. Don’t just comment on your own blog but also take the time to comment on the blogs that you read. What, you don’t read other blogs? Get yourself out into the blogging community!

Now that you have some traffic and a steady supply of readers you can begin to look into turning your writing into a revenue stream. I have many more blogs than this one and I use different monetization streams for different sorts of blogs. Some of these will work for you while others will not.

Text Link Ads

Text Link Ads is a service that will sell text links on your blog. They will also offer you a program that allows for selling ads at the end of your most popular posts.

Text Link Ads takes a 50% cut of any revenue earned by running ads on your blog. Though this may seem like a large cut it is worth it. Their marketplace is second to none and very easy to search.

What, why am I not selling Text Link Ads on here? Because this site has not been around long enough to get a low Alexa number or a high Google Page Rank. Both of those metrics are used to set the price for text links on your site.

Google AdSense

The old standby of blogging is Google AdSense. I run AdSense on this blog (and many others) and it works on the basis of CPC or Cost-Per-Click. You get paid based on the clicking patterns of your readers. When a reader clicks an ad you get paid. The payment may be as low as one penny to as high as $50 (or more). The rate of pay depends on the keywords involved.

The one danger with AdSense is that Google is very aggresive about fraudulent clicks. So much so that many people have lost their AdSense accounts (and pending payments) because of actions performed by their readers.

Pay Per Post

Pay Per Post is a company that brings advertisers and bloggers together so that an advertiser can pay a blogger to blog about something. Pay Per Post accepts just about everyone into their program and your results will vary. Generaly the better ranked your website is the better money you will make. Or should I say the better offers you will get. Making money from PPP is also dependant on your own writing abilities. No one wants to pay for your services if you can’t string a few words together!

Pay Per Post also has a great community of “Posties” who are always willing to help out new members. They are clearly the best of all the paid blogging networks.

Conclusion

Those are the three easiest systems to use to monetize your blog. There are plenty more out there but these three are by far the easiest ones to get into and start making money with.

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Mo Money Mo Problems used under Creative Commons License from flickr user greggoconnell

What do you think is an appropriate age to talk to your kids about sex? Is the age different for boys and girls? And what are some things that should be included in the discussion?

– Lori, A Cowboy’s Wife blog

It looks like someone really wants to put dad on the spot with this one! I guess I can’t just use the old standby of, “talk to your mother,” on this one.

When the time comes for you to talk to your kids you will know. Yeah, I know that may sound like a bit of a copout but every kid is different. So, how do you know when the time is right? By paying attention.

If you pay attention to your kids you will know what things need discussing and what things can wait until another day. You do not want that first talk about sex to take place while your driving your kid to an obstetrician to find out how her pregnancy is doing. Nope, you want to have the conversation near the time when they start thinking about members of the opposite sex as potential partners. Once they go past the, “ew, boys/girls are icky” phase of childhood you know the time is right.

If you find evidence of porn on your computers the time is likely past. If you find a page torn out of a nudie magazine than the time is likely right now.

If you are looking for a ballpark figure I would have to say that the onset of puberty is the time to have the talk. You want to get your information into their head before they hit the age where everything you say is wrong.

I would also have to say that you want to talk to the girls before you talk to the boys. Part of that may be bias from my being male but the biological reality is that if a pregnancy occurs it is the female that has to suffer through it. It is also likely that if your young daughter hears that one of your friends is pregnant she is likely to be interested and begin asking questions. You do not need to be graphic at this point and you can keep it to simple concepts such as man + woman = baby until they reach about age ten.

Boys are known to hit puberty a little bit later than girls and the embarrassment of puberty changing their bodies and making them awkward is often enough to keep them from chasing the girls. You do still need to talk to them and you can take this time, while they are covered in zits, to begin to explain to them about the birds and the bees.

Until your child hits puberty you can let them lead the discussion in regards to sex. If they ask you a question give them an honest answer. Don’t try to hide things and don’t over divulge either. Odds are your child is just curious for peripheral information about relationships. When they ask about where babies come from you can tell them that they grow inside a mommies body. Some kids will ask how they got there and then you can say that daddy put them there, or something along those lines. Just be careful how you phrase it or your daughter may run away when she sees her father thinking he might put one in her!

Once a child hits puberty and begins to become more aware of their changing body and hormones you need to explain more things to them. You need to explain what the sexual organs are and what they do. You need to talk about pregnancy and “safe” sexual practices. I generally believe that the father should talk to the son about sex first and the mother with the daughter. You should then ask the child if they would like the other parent to become involved in the discussion. Kids are embarrassed enough talking about sex with their parents so they may not want both of you in the room at once. Heck, I’ve got kids of my own and I still get embarrassed talking about sex with my parents!

There are also many good books on sexuality for teenagers to read. you might consider picking one up and putting it in your bookcase for your teenager to find. Don’t just give it to them because then the whole “parents are always wrong” syndrome will kick in.

One such book is How Sex Works by Elizabeth Fenwick and Richard Walker ISBN 0-7894-0634-9. The book is from 1994 and should still be available from book stores.

If you see the book has been moved than they have likely found it and read parts of it. Wait about a week after they begin reading it and then talk to them.

Don’t forget that the sex talk should not just be about the act of sex. You also need to talk to your kids about respect and relationships. You don’t want to raise a bunch of kids who think one-night-stands are normal, do you?

This might be hard if you are not happily married but you may be able to use that in the discussion. Point out to your kids how much better times have been when you are a whole family working together as opposed to one divided. Explain to your kids that sex is just the icing on the cake of a good healthy relationship. Odds are that they will not believe you until they hit age 25 or older but you need to plant those seeds while they are young.

I have known some kids that were introduced to sex at a young age by their mother showing them a book of photographs and giving them a full course on sex and sexuality that could have been taught at a university. I also know of kids that never had the talk with their parents. For the most part, the kids who had the good open relationship with their parents came out the best in life.

That’s what it is all about, keeping the relationship alive between you and your kids. Don’t dread the sex talk with your kids as it may be one of the most important bits of information you pass on to them. Having clean underwear on in case you get in a car accident is up there too, so is the one about putting the cap back on the milk.

Here is my brief synopsis of what I wrote above:

• At what age? When they are ready. Most will be early pre-teen to early teen age.
• Different ages for boys and girls? Yes, talk to the girls first.
• What topics? Aside from the basics of what the organs are and do you also need to cover respect and how relationships work. I can not stress how important it is that kids understand that sex is a byproduct of a healthy relationship and not the opposite.

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Cleo and Fringe-Boy 2 used under Creative Commons License from flickr user orangeacid

“I’m looking into getting a cell phone but I have no idea which one to get. Can you help me out at all?”

– John M. Odessa TX

Like most technology purchases today you need to take a look at what you are buying and why. Because you are buying a cell phone your first priority is for the device to be able to make and receive phone calls.

The first thing you want to take into consideration is the amount of time you plan on using the device. If you plan on using it extensively than comfort will override all other factors. No one wants to sit around with an uncomfortable cell phone up against their head. The use of Bluetooth wireless devices that attach to your ear can help here but they also make you look like an idiot. Unless you are at a Star Trek convention, then you will fit right in!

After you take care of the comfort question you need to make a short list of what other features you want your phone to have. Do you need a web browser? What about text messaging? Do you want it to play MP3 files?

Every item you add to the list will both add to the price and reduce battery life. Do you already have an MP3 player? If so why bother getting an MP3 player cell phone?

I subscribe to the rule of “unless you have to have a professional piece of equipment buy the cheapest thing that does the job.” Now, that does not mean you should buy a piece of crap unless the job only needs crap. No, the device has to be able to do the job.

What phone do I use? I use the free one given to me by my cell carrier when I first signed up with a two year contract. That contract expired a while back and my cell phone provider now calls me several times a month to see if I want a free phone upgrade and a new contract. I always say no and they always call back.

I’m not going to recommend a particular cell phone because I can’t. You have to make a list of what you need the phone to do and go from there.

Don’t fall for advertising gimmicks either. Girls are not going to fall all over you because of the phone you use. If they do than they are likely to be gold diggers and not worthy of your attention.

You also need to be sure that the phone has a battery that you can replace and does not cost a fortune. Batteries only last a year or so before they no longer carry enough charge to work properly. If the battery is not user-serviceable than you will have to send the phone away to have the battery replaced. Do you really want to be without your phone for a week waiting for a new battery to be installed?

You also want a phone than is as unlocked as possible. There is no reason you should have to pay to put ring tones on your phone unless the ring tone is based on licensed music. Same thing with wallpapers and what not.

Lastly you need to make sure you can either connect your computer to your phone or it has a removable SIM card. You need a way to get your address book on and off of the phone. If you can connect the phone to your computer you can download or upload the information while a SIM card can be moved from phone to phone.

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Mikes Mobile Phone used under Creative Commons License from flickr user Mike Licht

“What is three way linking?”

– Bob P, Ocean City MD

Three way linking as in Internet SEO (Search Engine Optimization) trick used to creatively link multiple sites and pass Google “juice” without having those links discounted as reciprocal.

Some people think three way linking occurs when Site A links to Site B who links to Site C who then links back to Site A. This is not three way linking but is instead a link circle.

Proper three way linking occurs when webmaster A links to Site B and webmaster B links back to Site A by using Site C. Using this method Site A passes some Google juice to Site B and webmaster B reciprocates by linking to Site A from another site he owns that is not Site B. None of these links will show up as reciprocal because they are all one way.

Three way linking also requires all three sites to be on different servers (or at least have different IP addresses). Search engines are getting smarter and they can tell if a site is linking to other sites on the same server.

One thing you should never forget is the value of the anchor text of the link. If everyone were to link to this article with an anchor text of “three way linking” this page would quickly become the top search result for that term.

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PP1-48 used under Creative Commons License from flickr user corrieb